You started to believe

All was beginning to look far to rosy for me.

Possibly the the most exciting job, living in the most exciting city was just within reach, a beautiful boy wanted to spend time with me and all of a sudden I felt like I was surrounded by friends. But how quickly the rug can be pulled from under our feet! The job...which was almost mine was handed on to someone else just as the last minute. The boy, took me out and made promises to do such again but has been somewhat silent since... and the friends, well luckily they are still there.

But through this little stumble I think I can find some positives. Now I know I shall be sticking around here a while longer I can get involved in some of the activities I have wished too. Such as signing up for the Three Peaks Challenge. Signing up for a 5k run and seeing more of my friends. For me to get as far as I did with the job application I think shows promise... I am good enough for these exciting jobs, there just often seems to be that one person better, but surely one day that person will be me?

I must continue to make positive steps and enjoy everything that I have right now.

Heres to the freakin weekend

To want

To still love

To be wise

To be beautiful

To have nice things

To taking chances

To believing 

To doing

To dreaming

To hoping

To being different 

All we <3 it

How long can you keep believing?

I hope that you are feeling well, I miss you S x

Look Up

Still craving the big move, the exciting people, the fresh music... But sometimes something makes you stop and think for a moment. How long can I keep moving for? How many times can I run away in search of excitement and end up back home again? But if I dont look for it I will never know its not there... I would always be left wondering. But what if by never staying still I don't look up once in a while and see whats around me... who is around me. I'm going to invest some time in looking around me these next few weeks. Spend time with the people I know and love, get to know some new people from here and feel almost...settled? I'm sure as soon as this happens and I begin to find some happiness I will be off once again! But at least I have tried. I what to have as few regrets as possible.

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain...

I want to sit here

Read the book, thought it was brilliantly painful. The film did a pretty good job of portraying this too...maybe lacking a little feeling at time, you find yourself just wishing them to show some emotion, but that is the frustration of the story. Made me cry...lots.

Just looking at someone and never feeling more happy.

Never growing up.

We <3 it

S x

What do the stars say...?

Do you believe in astrology? I'm not sure whether I do... when reading descriptions of a Virgo, I am very much one! And I do find myself taking comfort in reading my star signs. I did this at the weekend, it would appear that I have a very positive year ahead of me, in love and money. And I am determined for this to be the case! I am making a conscious effort to talk more this year, may sound weird, and its not that I'm shy... I think its more laziness... In large groups of people I will often sit back and just observe rather than competing trying to have an input, but that is doing me no favors! I am also MAKING things happen. No more waiting!

Maybe for someone special...

^

We <3 it

I had some things on my mind, so a brisk walk with the hound soon cleared my head.

S x

Never Never land!

I think this has to be one of my favorite fairy tales. Running away to a far away land on an adventure... meeting a boy... <3 Peter Pan

My friend borrowed my face the other day for her photography project. I'm not the most photogenic of people. I seem to pull a 'Chandler' when a camera comes out. I look scared and lost and do something odd with my mouth. Anyways, after many an attempt and with the addition of a parka these were a couple of the results... TO'C

Feeling chilly?! 

Friday tomorrow!!

S x

Waiting....Waiting...Waiting...

I like shiny things... Dress - Zara

Things are either about unbelievably exciting and scary and amazing...or I'm going to feel terribly deflated. I'm afraid that I might be pinning my hopes on this chance... But there is quite a small chance of it actually happening. I must think of a plan b!

On an aside, my previously mentioned heart ache is still there. I only ever seem to look for relationships where there is very little chance of it actually happening. Maybe thats it, I'm scared of actually getting into a real relationship because that would mean making myself very vulnerable and open to pain...but it also makes me open to love. An experience I am yet to have. Sure, I have felt strong feelings, heart retching feelings, feelings that keep me up at night, but never requited or never expressed. I am a romantic at heart (possibly read too many Jane Austin novels or watched too many Disney films) so am looking for that lighting bolt. That all encompassing feeling that knocks you off your feet. Maybe it doesnt exist? Or maybe it isn't that strong instantaneous feeling...

This year I am not looking for love. This year I am going to concentrate on me. I am going to do the things I love. If I am happy, just as me, then everything else is a bonus. If my Mr Darcy should like to make an appearance during this time, I will welcome him with an open heart.

Went for a little trip to Ol' Smoky recently, just took a few memories.

S x

STOP! Flip and reverse

Oi scruff! Go sort yourself out, look at you with your crotch down by your knees and and converse that should have been chucked away years ago!! Loves it.

Top H&M, Trousers Topshop and Shoes Converse. 

Ever have those days where you just stop. You stop thinking about all your worries, accept that things maybe aren't going how you would have hoped....then just as your about to step away everything starts to change?

Today I had had enough stress and worry and just grabbed headphones, chucked on a wooly hat and walked. I walked for hours. It was pretty cold and windy but I just kept walking. As I walked I began to feel lighter. Whatever was pressing down on me for days was slowly floating away. I began my walk with my head down, looking at my feet as they dug deep into the moody pathways I crossed but as this feeling lifted, as did my head. I began to look up and around and noticed the beautiful pink sky as the sun was beginning to set and the vivid green of the fields surrounding me and I just breathed in... deep and long.

On my return home I found a busy cosy house filled with family, several messages on my phone from friends and an email from a friend I thought had forgotten about me. And then it just kind of hit me like a sudden shiver... 2012 is going to be a good one, I just knows it!

Breath it in...

Images from We <£ it

Isn't it nice to get lost in images for a while. Image taking that photograph, being there, wearing that, seeing, smelling...talking to... I get lost daily and thought that I would share todays 

Speak no evil

S x

Stan's Girl

Would you like a chocolate biscuit?!

What do we want moooooooore of?!

Reflecting back over the last year and looking forward to the future!

January has been somewhat of a tortoise with regards to kicking off this mammoth year! Its raaaaained and raaaaained...I have been blown away (literally!) I know its winter and I love nothing more than a reason to snooze in front of an open fire, but come on people!! We gots to get this year going! I need to be able to leave the house without fear of being knocked out by a granny being blown away in the wind...

Can we have more of this please?!

Gigs with friends (Mr Scruff)

Holidays to visit friends (Copenhagen)

Live somewhere a bit funky for a while (New York resident 3 months)

Play with stoooooopid dogs (Hector)

Sunny sunny holidays in paradise 

Reasons to wear a mustache 

Music festivals (Soundwave)

FOOOD!! Beans and Bagel (Amsterdam resident 7 months)

Ahhh I guess it aint been half bad!

S x